I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
