the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got inside last night via doggy door
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
