Its about making memories worth repressing
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
