I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
