hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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