So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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