You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
