Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
