Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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