We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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