I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
