I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
