I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
