We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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