I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
