I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
