Me. At least after what I've been through.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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