I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
