Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
