I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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