The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Randomize
