Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
