I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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