sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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