Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
