Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
