he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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