last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
