life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
