She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
