This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
