So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
