is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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