using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
