So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
