I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
