What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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