When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sext me about skeletons
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
