Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
