we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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