You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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