ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
