yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
