she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
