I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
