Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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