I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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