dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
