It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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