Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
