He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
