JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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