if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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